Let's say for the sake of argument, Satan got married. (Personally, I always thought of Old Scratch as a harem-type of guy, but I suppose it could happen.)

And let's also say that The Darkness family (as in Prince Of) had a child. But unlike his more famous half-brother, The Jersey Devil, little Lucifer Jr. and mom didn't survive the delivery.

The question is, where would The Devil bury his family? (Assuming he cared.) According to several generations of Kansas University college students, that place would be Stull cemetery.

There aren't many places on the planet as controversial as Stull Cemetery. To local residents, it has always been a quiet local graveyard, where several generations of Stull residents rest in peace. But to area college students, the legends tell a different story.

The story starts either 100 years ago, or in the mid-70's depending on who you ask.

In November of 1974, an article appeared in the University of Kansas student newspaper describing the strange events that supposedly occurred in the now-notorious cemetery. According to the story, the cemetery in Stull Kansas was one of the seven gateways to hell. (The other six were located in Oklahoma. Go figure.) And that twice a year, on Halloween and the Spring Equinox, the Devil comes to visit the cemetery (along with some place in India).

Though the article didn't list any definitive source, it said that the story “went back at least 100 years,” and that local students “knew of the story from their grandparents.” The article went on to say that students who visited the cemetery experienced memory loss, missing time, were grabbed by unseen hands, or had been menaced by a werewolf (Satan's little ankle-biter in the literal sense).

Residents of Stull were quick to denounce the story (you would be too, if someone told you your dearly-departed granny was a Devil-worshiper). But the tale took on a life of its own. Over the years, the graveyard has received as many as 500 visitors at a time. Like the Devil's paparazzi, they wrecked havoc on the old cemetery.

Over the years, some of the stories attached to the cemetery have included:

• The original name of the town was Skull. It was later changed to Stull to hide its black magic roots.

  (In actuality, the town's original name was Deer Creek Community. It was changed in 1899 by the town's postmaster, Sylvester Stull. )

• The town became cursed when in 1850, a stable hand murdered the town's mayor in an old stone barn located in the cemetery. (Deer Creek was a mayor-less community in 1850 )

• A stairway to hell was located in the old stone church inside the cemetery. Despite the fact that the roof had long since fallen-in, no rain would fall inside the church. A cross hanging on one wall would turn upside down anytime someone looked inside. (all untrue.)

• On a visit to Colorado, Pope John Paul II ordered his plane to fly around eastern Kansas so that he wouldn't fly over the “unholy ground” of Stull. (also untrue).

• Stull was the reason that the rock band The Cure would not play in Kansas City.

• Hangnails? Blame Stull.

• Rumor has it that in Stull, Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck beat the devil up and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Over the years, much has been done to discourage unholy rubberneckers. A fence has been installed around the property with prominent no tresspassing signs, and the slowly-collapsing church has been demolished.

Almost in response to this, a new story has cropped up. Legends now say, that it's not that Stull cemetery that the devil visits. All along it's been the other Stull cemetery.

The one question no one seems to be asking in all of this is why? Assuming (as we already have) that the Devil comes to Stull twice a year to visit the graves of his wife and child. Presumably, Mrs. Lucifer and little Luci Jr. would go to hell upon death, where the Prince of Darkness reigns supreme. So if they're in hell with him, why visit their graves at all?

Maybe he just wants a vacation.