Paulina!  I have been looking forward to a Paulina episode.  Of all the judges, she's always struck me as the most balanced.  Unlike Twiggy and Janice, Paulina gets this singular expression on her face whenever Tyra acts up in the judging room.  The expression on her face reads like this: Is this seriously what my career has come to?

Often, Top Model exists in this gorgeous fantasy world where Tyra really will make you a supermodel, where only four people decide your future, and where being a model is all about looking gorgeous in carefully crafted photoshoots.  This is one of the rare weeks where they took that fantasy and smashed it like so much bone china.

Of course, it started off with a red herring.  Marjorie, who consistently takes good photos, was whining about how everyone else in the house was so positive while Marjorie herself felt so worried.  At first I was vaguely sympathetic towards Marjorie, because it does suck when you get out of a test and ask your classmates, "Wasn't that the worst test ever?" and they all say, "Well, no.  I'm trying to be positive and work on improving for the next test."

Then, I realized that her worries were just a disguise for her to act like an attention seeker.  You know those people, the ones who genuinely seem to hate themselves and you have to give them continuous positive reinforcement or they collapse into a puddle of self-doubt.  When the house grew tired of having to reassure Marjorie that her photos were good, there was some cattiness in the confessional.

The challenge for the episode was set in motion when the Tyra mail arrived with some fortune-cookie mystery about the "fit" and "adjustment" of clothes.  Half the time, I think the writers make up Tyra mail while staring at a picture of Sarte and realizing that he was wrong.  Hell is not other people.  Hell is Tyra Banks.  Hell is the weird photos of her in a USPS uniform.

At the challenge, Paulina told the girls that if they were very lucky 90% of their time, they'd be doing catalogues.  To girls who have a Pavlovian response to cry when they hear "catalog" at the judging panel, I imagine this was a new and sharp dose of reality.  If they were lucky, apparently, Lands End would hire them to sell high waters.

The models were forced to wear surreally ugly clothes and use their tool belts to fix the outfits with clips and water bottles and "other things around the warehouse."  There were some shots of Joslyn wandering around the warehouse confused, wondering how broken up concrete would help fix her outfit.

During the critique, Marjorie didn't receive enough positive reinforcement, so she became a puddle of tears and low self esteem.  Instead of telling her to get over it like the goddess Tyra would, Paulina consoled her and reassured her that it was part of being French.  The rest of the girls found this to be just as believable as the audience did and called bullshit in their confessionals.

Afterwards, Marjorie seemed unable to let go of her desperate need for approval and the rest of the girls circled around her in various states of boredom to observe her complete melt down.  Viewers who were expecting Sarah Palin to vomit on stage during her debate with Joe Biden might want to rewatch this episode just for the complete satisfaction of watching someone break down because of no specific reason.

When a certain level of drama had been reached, Sam asked the legitimate question, "So, do you think you're America's Next Top Model, then?"  To which Marjorie said, "What a question!"

Marjorie and Sam seemed to spend this whole episode going at each other.  Both have reasons to be concerned about their performance, although Sam's seems more real than Marjorie's.  

The photo shoot for the episode was of natural disasters that have affected LA.  As far as I know, we have yet to see a snowstorm on Sunset Boulevard, so it's clear that the producers took a lot of liberty with "LA" and, for that matter, "natural disasters."  Traffic jams were included, as well as the Santa Ana winds, and power outages.

Clark spent the whole episode in complete overconfidence mode.  If Marjorie spent the episode making jello look like the spokesperson for self-esteem, Clark spent the episode making Kenley from Project Runway look like she needed to work on her self-confidence.

Clark's hubris reached epic proportions when she ruined her own photo shoot by being so overtly sexual.  Jay, because he's unfair, didn't call hootchie on Clark, but I did. I see London, I see France, I see Clark's well waxed lady parts.

On judging day, the focus was still on the two themes of the episode: Marjorie's plummeting mood and Clark's decision that she was the best model Top Model had ever had.  A freshly showered Lauren Brie jumped into bed with Clark so that they could have a heart to heart about judging.

Alas! The OTP of Clark/Elina has been smashed by the reality of Lauren Brie winning Clark's heart with her sheer blondness.

I have yet to understand the purpose of Tyra doing a photo shoot that resembles the photo shoot of the week.  They never reference it, it's always just a silent montage stuck in the episode, but the only purpose of the photo seems to be so that Tyra can pet her own ego.

At panel, the judges seemed to have an opposite reaction than Jay did at the photo shoot.  Their critiques of the girls were a lot less positive this week than they were last week.  Tyra's dress is still too hootchie to focus on without going blind.

Also, Tyra started using what I like to call her "evil space queen" voice.  It's like she watched Rita Repulsa from Power Rangers and decided to use that accent when talking to the other judges.

Paulina didn't rise to the bait, another reason I love her.  She simply talked about the pictures and ignored it when Tyra moved from Rita Repulsa to a  Bene Gesserit.

"Show me," Tyra commanded J. Alexander when he mentioned how he would have done a heat wave.  Her voice holds power, and J followed her lead to do one of the more lame pantomimes that Top Model has ever done.

In the end, Joslyn and Clark were in the bottom two and Clark was sent home.  Top Model likes to remind us all how models can go from the highest highs to the lowest lows in a single episode.  Elina seemed particularly sad that her crush was going home, I can only hope that she and Lauren Brie find solace in each other.

Next week: Elina lets go.  Or just combusts!  But drama, nonetheless.