First, the bad news: Shia LaBeouf’s character will survive for “Transformers 3”.

Okay, all joking aside the plot of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen picks up two years after the events of the first movie. Sam (Shia LaBeouf) is getting ready to attend college while his girlfriend, Mikaela (Megan Fox), prepares herself for their long distance relationship. Meanwhile, Optimus Prime (voiced by Peter Cullen) and his Autobots team up with the military group called NEST to hunt down Decepticons in hiding.

One sunny day, Sam picks up a shard from the AllSpark and accidentally downloads some mysterious symbols and coordinates into his brain. We learn that Sam has absorbed the location of an ancient device that the Transformers brought to Earth many, many eons ago. A Transformer named The Fallen (voiced by Tony Todd) plotted to absorb the Enertron from the Earth’s sun which would fuel the robots but destroy the planet. A group of robots were able to stop The Fallen but now that Sam has gained this knowledge of the key and machine’s location the Decepticons regroup to resurrect their deactivated leader, Megatron (voiced by Hugo Weaving), capture Sam so they can steal the information in his brain and finish what The Fallen had started. The fate of the Earth rests again in the hands of Sam Witwicky and his Autobot allies.

The filmmakers crammed a lot of stuff into those one hundred and forty-seven minutes. Some of it was good like more hijinks from Mr. and Mrs. Witwicky (Kevin Dunn & Julie White, respectively). If you thought they were hilarious in the first movie (like I did) then get ready to laugh along with them (or at them) some more. Also returning from the previous film are Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson who continue to fight alongside the Autobots in the NEST operations. John Turturro also makes a comeback after losing his secret agent job with Sector 7. Sam’s college roommate, Leo (Ramon Rodriguez), is dragged into the adventure kicking and whining and, boy, is it funny to watch him squirm. And look out for another notable new addition named Galloway (John Benjamin Hickey), a national security advisor to the President who believes the Autobots’ presence on Earth endangers national and international security. Like most government stooges Galloway misses the obvious point that the Autobots are the world’s best defense against the evil Transformers but at least he’s fun to “boo and hiss” at.

If it’s one thing you can rely on it’s that the action sequences are going to be full throttle. You can say what you will about the plots in Michael Bay’s films but you know that when it comes to blowing stuff up he is the master. So expect all sorts of battles between Autobots vs Decepticons, Military vs Decepticons, Military + Autobots vs Decepticons, Sam vs automated household appliances accidently “transformed” by the AllSpark shard. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is totally action packed so if you’re a fan of big guns, massive property damage and explosions that make the 4th of July fireworks look like a Lite Brite convention then bring a bib because you’re gonna be drooling.

Transformers was not on my 80s toon hit parade so I don’t know much about the history of the robots and I certainly don’t know if this new revelation that the electronic behemoths visited our planets in ancient times is a new concept or something from the original continuity. Whatever the case it was intriguing to see our ancestors with their face paint and spears attempting to approach the towering robots. I should warn that a funny thing happens when a recently revived older robot named Jetfire (voiced by Mark Ryan) conducts the history lesson for Sam, his friends and the rest of us. Like in most action films there’s that jarring and abrupt halt where the moment of exposition occurs. Even though I appreciated knowing the details of that Egyptian first contact with Transformers I actually got fidgety in my seat. I wanted to see more shiny weapons and screen filling explosions. Thank goodness the filmmakers noticed this lull and had the origin story divided into one part oral and one part holographic flashback. If there’s one thing I learned from The History Channel it’s that seeing the past is a lot more exciting than hearing about it.

Another upgrade from the first film is the adult content. The one that stood out most for me was the increase of strong language. I guess after living amongst us foul-mouthed humans for two years the robots were bound to adopt our colorful expressions. The worst offenders were two Autobots named Mudflap (voiced by Reno Wilson) and Skids (voiced by Tom Kenny) that have adopted the persona of wannabe street hustlers. They talk a lot (unfortunately) and most of their lines have to do with popping caps in someone’s a**.

Oh and yeah I agree with the controversial rumblings that Mudflap and Skids are racial stereotypes in chromium clothing. I understand that the creators wanted to give the robots distinctive personalities but that was gross and the gold tooth wasn’t so subtle, either. Yeah, we could argue that it’s just a fantasy film and the two “Ghettobots” aren’t a representation of a whole race of people just a specific area of pop culture. Surely the robots were not only going to absorb our language but some of our personalities as well. Mudflap and Skids simply decided they wanted to adapt streetwise personas. Fine. But did they have to sound like two bumbling crackheads from the latest installment of Friday? Ugh! If you thought Jar Jar Binks was bad then stay tuned because it just got worse. 

Along with the strong language and unpleasant stereotypes is the increase in robot violence. This time expect to see Optimus, Megatron and leak more vital fluids durig their brawls. When Optimus gets sucker-punched by a very lucky Decepticon you’re gonna see, in slo-mo, Mr. Prime spew out a reddish liquid that registered as blood to me. The Transformers are tough and it takes a whole lot to take just one of them down so when one checks out the execution is very visceral. If your kids are sensitive to seeing a giant bot get its’ electronic heart ripped out and face crumpled up then you have been warned.

When missiles aren't whissing through the air and buildings aren't being demolished the movie takes moments to focus on other things such as Sam's attempt to lead a normal life after acting as the human liason for the Autobots in the first movie. He's going to college, attending parties and has a girlfriend. Mikaela is willing to give the "cyber relationship" a try but she's a tad concerned that she'll lose Sam to one of those equally sultry co-eds. Though the Autobots are helping the military take down lingering Decepticon threats there are those who blame the Autobots for the skirmishes and would rather they take their little war somewhere else.  

I don’t think there’s anything more to share about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen without accidentally giving away the ending. It’s more of the same that you saw in the first movie but on a grander scale. More fights, more property destruction, more threats to global security, more varieties of Transfomers and more of the humans scrambling around like ants trying to help their humongous Autobot friends save the day. Step right up for the latest summer blockbuster thrill ride.