Megan (Audrina Partridge) discovers that her boyfriend, Garrett (Matt O’Leary), cheated on her. When she tells her Theta Pi sisters about it they concoct a vengeful prank on Garrett to teach him that no one disses a Theta without punishment. The girls stage a scheme that gives Garrett the impression that Megan has died. Jessica (Leah Pipes) suggests that to save their own reputations they should dismember Megan’s body and toss her in a remote well. Before the sisters call “April Fools!” Garrett thrusts a 4-way lug wrench into Megan’s chest killing her for real.

After the co-eds have a proper freak out moment Jessica calls an impromptu Theta Pi meeting. Cassidy (Briana Evigan) thinks the most logical choice is to call the cops. This of course could mean lawyer fees, prison time, and eternal shame on their respective households. Jessica is not about to have her reputation tarnished and dream wedding to a politician’s son dismantled by this tragic accident. She goads her fellow sisters, and Garrett, into dumping Megan’s body into the well and they’ll stick to the cover story that Megan simply vanished. Down the well Megan and her phone went while the culprits swore to take this secret to their graves.


"This flare gun.....doesn't go with this dress at all. That's the last time I take fashion advice from the House Dork!" - Claire (Jamie Chung), Cassidy (Briana Evigan) and Ellie aka House Dork (Rumer Willis)

Eight months pass and Graduation Day has arrived. The girls are anxious to move on with their lives but when they each receive a “Megan Alert” message on their cell phones it’s clear that someone knows their terrible deed and this someone wants to exact a bloody revenge on the ones responsible for Megan’s demise.

Sorority Row is actually a remake of the 1983 horror flick The House On Sorority Row. Since I never saw the original version I am much more inclined to compare Sorority Row with another “secret slasher” flick called I Know What You Did Last Summer. So, for a lot of us movie buffs Sorority Row has built their house on familiar territory. A bunch of kids mess around and someone gets killed, the kids decide it’s better to cover up the murder rather than confess to the authorities, and when a sufficient amount of time has passed the secret digs itself up to the surface and wreaks havoc on the people involved.


"Who's the House Dork now, sistahs!" - Ellie, former House Dork, packing heat (Rumer Willis)

And just like in I Know What You Did Last Summer the Theta Pi sisters are stalked by a mysterious figure in a black cloak wielding an unorthodox weapon. Instead of a fish hook the shrouded being utilizes a “pimped out” lug wrench, similar to the one that was used on Megan, that has been modified with a bladed edge and a mini-harpoon tip. The stalker not only knows what the girls did at the well he also possess some intimate knowledge of each sister including their cell phone numbers, therapy schedules and significant others. The big mystery is who is under the hood? Could it be Garrett who has been mentally unhinged since that fateful evening or could it truly be Megan back from the dead?

It could be the fact that I walked into the film with low expectations or perhaps someone spiked my Pepsi but I have to admit that Sorority Row was pretty okay. After seeing the trailer a dozen times (Summit Entertainment’s marketing team should get a raise) I was so certain that I was going to be treated to ninety minutes of half naked girls running away from a nigh-invulnerable killer and being slaughtered in elaborate death sequences tinged with misogyny. And I did get that, with heels. I was also surprised by the strong lead cast, some genuine dramatic moments and tongue-in-cheek humor.


"Welcome to Theta Pi House. Would all the homicidal maniacs please make sure to check your cloaks and bloody tires at the main enrance? Thank you." - Jessica (Leah Pipes) and the Theta Pi Sisters

The girls are the traditional gang of archetypes; Jessica is the head diva in the group which also makes her the unofficial queen bee, Ellie (Rumer Willis) is the resident nerd that is allowed to hang out with the clique as long as she keeps producing those prize winning term papers, Chugs (Margo Harshman) is the promiscuous lush that provides most of the comic relief, Claire (Jamie Chung) is the sweetie-pie, and Cassidy is the voice of reason that has her head firmly planted on her shoulders.

So, no one really pays attention to Cassidy’s advice until it’s too late. I liked the filmmakers’ efforts to give the girls some depth to their characters.

A good example of this is the revelation that Jessica might not be an ice queen just because she looks good with icicles. Part of her backstory is a power marriage to Kyle (Matt Lanter), the son of a politician. It seems a good portion of Jessica’s life has been used to mold her into the prime candidate for First Lady. So, there’s no way she’s going to let one tragic night ruin years of preparation for her future in the winners’ circle. I also felt the scene showing the girls contemplating what to do about Megan after the accidental stabbing was well done.


Will Cassidy survive the killer's Slayer Suds Attack? Stay tuned. - Cassidy (Briana Evigan)

Another plus for the film is the humor. There are some wickedly comical moments and lines in this movie. Even in the face of possible death these girls aren’t too spooked to deliver some sarcastic comments. Like when Jessica and Cassidy discover the lower half of one of the cloaked killer’s victims. Jessica is able to identify the body because of the guy’s ugly shoes. It seemed to me that the film started out as an intense “who-slashed-it” but slowly slides down into self-parody. By the time I got to the final act it felt like I was watching an installment of Scary Movie.

Carrie Fisher makes an appearance as the Theta Pi house-mother. I imagine she’s sick of it at this point in her life but I can’t help it. I see Carrie Fisher and have this urge to bow down to the Princess. Her “Mrs. Crenshaw” is the typical spirited old lady that is pleasant to a point. If you tick her off you better find a bulletproof vest.


"Look, Megan, if you're going to play Pussycat Doll Fantasy Concert with us you're going to have to lose the gladiator heels. Nicole would never wear gladiator heels. OMG!" - Megan (Audrina Patridge, on the bed, in those tacky heels), Jessica (Leah Pipes), Claire (Jamie Chung), Cassidy (Briana Evigan), Ellie (Rumer Willis) and Chugs (Margo Harshman)

I’m kind of ashamed to admit it but I liked Sorority Row. Yeah, the plot is recycled but there is a freshness in it that comes from the charisma of the female leads and their sharp-tongued dialogue. Leah Pipes steals practically every scene she’s in because “Jessica” makes being a jerk look so attractive. So, as a slasher movie Sorority Row is enjoyable and entertaining. Even if you guess the killer beforehand it’s a thrill to watch the girls sweat it out while trying to put on innocent faces for the public.

I’ll put it like this; if you paid to see The Final Destination or the I Know What You Did Last Summer flicks then you might not feel too guilty about shelling out box office bucks for Sorority Row. Otherwise, you should save your pesos for something a little more worthwhile and save Sorority Row for your “Must Rent” list.