A Russian dude named Orlov (Daniel Olbrychski) is questioned by CIA agent, Evelyn Salt (Angelina Salt). During the interrogation Orlov claims that Evelyn is, in truth, an undercover Russian spy tasked with killing the Russian president. Evelyn and her colleague, Ted Winter (Liev Schreiber) dismiss the preposterous claim but fellow CIA agent Peabody (Chiwetel Ejiofor) wants to make sure that Agent Salt is on the side of the angels. When Orlov makes his escape Evelyn uses the opportunity to escape custody, make sure her husband (August Diehl) is safe and hunt down the fiends who have set her up.

Or was Orlov right and Evelyn Salt really is an assassin trained to carry out a mission that could jumpstart the beginning of World War Three?


One way...or another...Salt's gonna getcha....Salt's gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha - Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie)

That’s the tagline we’ve been hearing for months now: who is Salt? By the time the film was over I definitely knew who Ms. Salt really was. Of course, I’m not just going to blurt the answer out to you. I’m not the spoiler type. However, there’s a good chance some beans will inadvertently be spilled in my review for the sake of getting my point across. So, here we go.

Salt is a basic action film with the hero able to run through armed forces like a hot knife through butter and perform superhuman feats (such as leap-frogging on moving trucks) without breaking bones or spraining muscles. The fun is in watching Ms. Jolie kick butt because she does it so very well and looks so very fabulous while she’s in action. As an added bonus Ms. Jolie goes total action diva as she goes through some striking wardrobe changes throughout the film.

The plot isn’t completely disposable. I was totally intrigued by the first part of Salt where Agent Salt is initially accused of being a double agent and risks life and limb not to clear her name but to make sure her civilian husband hasn’t been harmed by the culprits trying to frame her. Once she’s looked into her loved ones then she focuses on keeping herself from being apprehended by the overzealous Agent Peabody. This continues into Act II as Agent Salt go into deep cover as lures the bad guys out of the shadows while staying one step ahead of law enforcement thanks to her phenomenal CIA training. And Act III is mostly about payback. There are some creative twists that make the story interesting and moments of actual emotional depth that keeps Agent Salt from becoming a clichéd video game character come to life. But for this “cinemaddict” the mysteries and complexities were just too few. Salt is like a cell phone trying to catch a signal. In a certain spot it rises to 5 bars of brilliance (like when Agent Salt finds her husband) and then drops down to 2 bars of mediocrity in another zone (will Agent Salt be able to shut down the device in time?! Ooh, the lack of suspense!).


One minute she's a blonde, the next minute she's a brunette. What's next? Afro puffs? - Agent Peabody (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and Agent Winter (Liev Schreiber)

The saving grace was that Angelina Jolie was a magnificent tour guide through this flick so no matter how implausible or predictable things got all she had to do was strut down the hallway with automatic rifle in hand, iron flat tresses blowing in the breeze (and somewhere Jennifer Garner remarked “Oh please. I rocked that look in 2005.”) and that patented pouty “I’m gonna make you bleed, cur!” snarl of hers and I could easily forgive the weak points in the film.

I was pleased to see Chiwetel Ejiofor get some blockbuster redemption after starring in that overbaked disaster flick, 2012 (2009). His “Agent Peabody” may seem like a jerk but it is his job to keep America safe from any threat, potential or obvious. I just like the guy. Mr. Ejiofor just always seems to bring so much intensity into his roles no matter how small they are. Liev Schreiber is another favorite of mine but if you’ve been paying attention to Mr. Shreiber’s character choices throughout his career I think you’ll agree that he was probably not the best choice to play Agent Salt’s work buddy. Nothing wrong with his performance but Schreiber’s resume could possibly let a cat out of “Agent Winter’s” bag prematurely.

Law enforcement gets a partial break in Salt. At times the CIA, Secret Service and local police seem to be in tip top form. My friend was impressed by how quickly officials got their act together to block Evelyn Salt’s highway escape route. But this isn’t a movie about how great law enforcement is. This movie is about how amazing Agent Salt is. So, my honorable and much beloved agents and officers, try not to be too ticked off when you watch Agent Salt smack up your cinematic portrayers as if they were crash test dummies. We know you guys and gals could take down an aggressive assailant like Ms. Salt easily in real life. There are plenty of films where cops and federal agents actually get one up on the antagonist….but this film ain’t one of them. Sorry.

I think the worst thing about Salt was the ending. It was tragic to see the screenwriters, Kurt Wimmer and Brian Helgeland, type themselves into a corner. They set up this fantastic yet familiar adventure about a woman who might not be who we think she is and after the big climax they seemed to run out of gas. By the end of the final act it was like they didn’t know what to do with Agent Salt next. I was annoyed with the solution. Instead of doing something gutsy and unexpected the writers go for “Typical Boulevard” and set up the foundation for a “Salt 2”. With all due respect, I can’t completely blame the writers for this. It’s possible the studio had a hand in saving Agent Salt for a rainy blockbuster day in the nearest future. As an artist I found the conclusion of Salt to be a cop-out but as someone that kinda knows how the mainstream industry thinks it’s logical that the studio would try to keep sprinkling as much Salt on their bottom line as possible. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) did lead to Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle Of Life (2003), afterall.


Bangs...Bangs...Bangs, you're dead. - Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie)

Geekdom will probably get some kind of extra thrill out of Salt or perhaps a slight case of the dry heaves when they see the Salt story unfold. This will probably give all kinds of secrets away but I gotta remark on how throughout the film I kept thinking of Black Widow from the Marvel Comics Universe. Other characters came to mind but Natasha Romanoff was at the forefront of my cerebellum while I was watching Salt. My point is that some of the familiarity is kind of pleasant especially if you’re into stories of sleeper agents and top secret missions.

Salt is promoted as a sleek and thrilling “Who’s that girl?” tale but outrageous action sequences, Agent Salt’s nigh invulnerability to physical damage in those sequences and some recycled plot devices steal some of Salt’s freshness preserving qualities (I had to get at least one more “salt” joke in there, lol). The movie rises and sets on Angelina Jolie and I have to admit that if the role had gone to a dude, as originally intended, Salt probably would’ve been worse off. Just don’t bother waiting for Salt to blossom into a highly intelligent brain-twister. Salt probably could’ve been that but the powers that be opted for more car chases and hallway scuffles, less originality and complexity; an intriguing look into one’s questionable identity partially reduced to a by-the-numbers blockbuster. Otherwise, it’s a fun and action packed thrill ride featuring Ms. Jolie in her most dazzling film persona ever: professional buttkicker.

Rhymes With: Hitman (2007), The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996), Point Of No Return (1993), The Bourne Identity (2002), Elektra (2005), The Saint (1997), Alias (2001-2006, tv series), Dark Angel (2000-2002, tv series)